Hello, beautifuls!

Yes, it's weird for me to be posting so soon after my last post, but whoa dang...I'm excited!

Yes, my ear has been throbbing for the past couple of days, as well as being disgusting (I'll spare you the details), but, reader, I'm going to Seattle in twenty days!  TWENTY DAYS!  Huzzah!

We're going to visit my Great Aunt Gretchen for Christmas!  It's snowing in Seattle right now, and I cannot freaking wait to divulge myself in that frozen water glory.

I know everyone says that snow is awesome/beautiful for like five seconds, and then you realize you can't feel your toes, or your car has decided to stop functioning, but I honestly don't think that will be the case.

I have experienced snow twice in my life.  The first time was when I was an infant, so not so much recollection there, but I remember when I was in Utah for Christmas when I was seven, I felt like I was in Heaven (rhyme time!).  I fell in love with the snow.  At least, that's how I remember the whole experience.  I don't remember really complaining, except when I had to wait forever for the snow to build up enough to build a snowman and have a snowball fight.

I also cannot wait to visit my Aunt Gretchen.  She is the freaking best.  You just can't help but love her.  Like, seriously.  I can't even describe how fun she is and how happy I am when she visits.

Ain't No Good

Hey there, lovelies!

So, it's been a week or two since I have posted on this diddy.

Since my last post a couple of things have gone down.

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 four times.  Including yesterday after my mom and I -- in a spur of the moment moment -- went to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, despite the homework load waiting back home.  We weren't at the park for very long, because we wanted to see the movie again.  My fourth time.  Her third.  As a sidenote, all of these fun, irresponsible suggestions were her ideas, and I love her for it.  I actually still haven't done any of my homework.  I only got as far as printing my assignments from online.

I have such a buttload of work to do because I went on a college trip this past week to USF, UCF, and Rollins College, and not everyone at school went on the trip, so work was assigned to those who didn't go, and, in turn, to those who did.  I know for a fact that I don't want to go to USF.  UCF is really nice, and I don't really think I'll be looking into Rollins.  I mean it's a pretty and small school, but it just didn't seem right for me.  We also went to Epcot on our last day of the trip (Wednesday).  It was fun, and I didn't hang out with drama queens, but I was really itching to get home by the time we got on the bus.  I really sorted a lot of things out about myself and those I hang around with.  I know what I want in that sense, at least.  As for college...don't ask.  Although, I was looking at SVU's website, and I'd really like to go to an open house of theirs.

Thanksgiving was pretty great.  Molly and Kevin, Heather, Ian, and Dylan, and my dad (that was a bit of a surprise) came over.  My dad left early.  We played Apples to Apples and Taboo (during which my spazzyness that blooms from competitiveness was filmed and will be shown at a later point in time).  We didn't get to watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets like we had planned...

The Friday after The Deathly Hallows came out, mom, Molly, and I went out to dinner.  As my mom was talking to Molly and making plans, I was nearby listening in.  We asked Molly if she would want to go see Harry Potter because we were dying to see it again.  She then admitted that she had never seen the movies.  None of them.  We jumped on that.  At dinner at La Strada's (which I don't see the big deal about), we decided to go to Wal Mart to get The Sorcerer's Stone and some movie candies because we went to Sarasota the weekend before with the movie, but it somehow didn't make it back, and the candies were just because movies and candies go hand-in-hand.  Right?

Upon our arrival at Molly's apartment (Kevin was on a camping trip with the Scouts), she said something along the lines of, "Go look at the fridge."  So, mom and I took a gander at the fridge.  There was a sonogram picture and some little ball-magnets that were pushed together to read, "Boy or girl?" and one off to the side that said, "Boy."  Mom was confused and kept looking all over the fridge.  I was confused and was wondering if Molly somehow and for some reason had a picture of Abby's baby.  We then looked over to see Molly freaking out in a spaz attack.  Molly is pregnant, and she is due one week after Abby.  I'm not going to lie.  I'm a little jealous of that fact.  Not that I would even dream of having a child during my teenage years, especially without being married (duh), but just the fact that Abby is one of my best friends, and I'd want our kids to grow up together.  Well, that was weirdly explained, but yes.  Molly is pregnant!  Yay!

After watching The Sorcerer's Stone, and Molly seeming to like it, we decided to watch The Chamber of Secrets after Thanksgiving dinner.  Oh, well.  We'll just have to do it the next time that Kevin is out.  Molly has really started to grow on me.  There's always that awkward, weird stage in friendships when you don't quite know the other person's mannerisms or humor, but I think that phase has just about run its course.  We even share the same career pursuits!  Haha.  She also wants to be an occupational therapist.  She's really amazing.  She works with autistic children.  That's such a beautiful thing to me.  Anyways, I didn't mean to go on about all of this, and I didn't mean for my thoughts to be all jumbled.

I watched You've Got Mail the other night.  I liked it.  It was your typical nineties/early two-thousands movie.  The AOL dial-up was hilarious.  I think I've seen parts of the movie before, but never the whole thing.  All-in-all it was pretty good.

I finally came up with an idea for NaNoWriMo, four days before its end.  Oh, well.  There's always next year, right?

Speaking of next year, (haha, segue) I'm thinking about doing a video diary/vlog next year.  One video, everyday, for an entire year.  What do ya think, reader?

P.S. Yesterday, at Island of Adventures, it was kind of weird, all the Youtube references I witnessed.  Well, only two, but still.  There was a guy that worked for the park asking people to take surveys, and he definitely looked like Daxflame.  There was also a girl I passed that had a livelavalive shirt that I really like/want.  Hers was all cut up, though.  That I didn't like/want so much.

P.S.S. Last Sunday, I finally had had enough of my ears popping/being in pain, and went to Solantics (don't judge me; it was annoying, and Sunday was the only day I could do it).  The weird doctor told me I had a sinus infection.  She gave me prescriptions for penicillin and some steroids.  We got the penicillin filled, but not the steroids one.  We figured the penicillin would help with an ear infection, and the steroids would cause unwanted and unneeded side effects.  It's highly likely that I don't have a sinus infection considering the fact that there has been nothing bothering me that has to do with my nasal canal.  My mom also made the mistake of telling the doctor I want to be a physician, and was going on a college trip the next day.  She then went on and on about how I need to be a fertility doctor, and how they make so much money, and it's a field full of stupid testosterone-filled men who have no idea what they're talking about.  She didn't even bother to ask me if I am interested in the field or what field I am interested in.  She just told me all of her problems with pregnancy, and how I need to have my eggs frozen before I am twenty-five, and how I probably shouldn't have a baby in medical school.  It was frightening...It also dawned on me that if I were to be an occupational therapist, then I wouldn't really be a doctor.  When I told the crazy lady that I want to be an occupational therapist, she told me, "Well, forget that.  You need to be a doctor."  It didn't click that if I pursued that career, I really wouldn't be a doctor, until my mom confirmed it several times.  Strange.

Reflecting Gratitude

Gratitude has been a topic of discussion in my head.  While that may sound like the words of a person with dissociative identity disorder, it's true.  [Please, don't take that the wrong way.]

The beautiful, inspiring words of President Monson and Elder Holland have inflamed my spirit to do something.  To say thank you, even in the simplest of moments.  To show gratitude through not only words, but actions.  While I actually was asleep (I believe) during Elder Holland's words, I came across them on one of my talk/article readings.  Emma said the actual deliverance of the talk was even more moving and emotionally and spiritually powerful.  I am thankful to have a continued knowledge of my Heavenly Father's plan for me.  I am thankful to have the guidance I need in order to endure these latter-days.

I've actually shocked my mom a few times when I have said thank you.  She continually responds with, "For what?"  Then, I get embarrassed because it was something so minute.  Then, the thought of Christ enters my thoughts.  Never embarrassed.  Always open with His love and gratitude.  I am then filled with a sense of duty.  A duty that requires me to always go the extra mile, and always be vocal about my gratitude.  A duty that should not be overshadowed by fickle feelings that cause me to want to take back my vulnerability.

So, reader, in the spirit of this time of year, I am grateful for Christ.  I am grateful that every situation I am dealing with, every heartache and hard time I face, can be related back to a parable the Savior taught or to the beautifully cliched, "What would Jesus do?"  I am grateful that He and my Heavenly Father provide me with strength to face adversity with my head held high, and my heart completely open.

Today, I confronted my aforementioned friend who had been keeping things from me, and instead of lashing out, she was surprised.  Surprised about how much I cared.  With shaking hands, tears welling in my eyes [like a little girl], I told her exactly what I was feeling, and she welcomed my vulnerability with a hug and an "Aw."  I'm grateful that the Spirit provided me with a voice.  I am thankful He made the words I wanted to say so simply clear and loving.

Today, my dear friend, Adam, found out that his aunt had passed away.  She left behind two sons.  One in college.  One who is only thirteen.  She also left her husband, who was just about to be home for good.  He is a merchant marine (I believe), and was just about to retire.  I am grateful for my mother.  I am grateful for my father.  I am grateful to still have my grandmother who still loves and cares about me so much.

I am grateful to have been born into the Knowledge, and to know for myself, that Someone cares.  Someone knows.  Someone loves me with such tender mercy that I am given a second chance when I fall short.  Someone has given me Their all, Their everything, so that I may be blessed with a beautiful, incomparable life after this time full of tribulation and growth.

Someone is my Heavenly Father.  Someone is my Savior and Redeemer.

I am grateful, reader.

Blargh Dargh

So, this is another quick update. Apologies for the lack of personality.


News that is super important, but has not been mentioned at all for some reason or another:

Abby is pregnant! YAY!

I was one out of six people who won a CD by The Lower Lights in a blog contest. How that happened, I will never understand. I will be writing an entire post about this sometime soon because with the CD I received a note from someone in the band saying something along the lines of, "You better right a freaking awesome post about this." So, expect that some time.

Pa, Brianna's hilarious and very beloved grandfather passed away on Veteran's Day. I believe he was taken to a care center hours before so that his wife could rest. I guess she was what was keeping him going.

Sister Fowler found a lump. It was cancerous. It was on one of her ovaries. She had surgery on Saturday, and my mom is visiting her right now. According to Sister Lee, who works in the hospital she was operated on in, she had the best possible team she could have asked for. Not sure whether or not she had a full hysterectomy, though. My mom is visiting her right now. I didn't go because I was afraid she would catch my cold.

The Medieval (Renaissance) Fair was absolutely amazing, despite my feeling under the weather. The drive was exhausting, though. To and fro. I had more junk food than I care to admit. We watched The Half-Blood Prince for awhile in the car until the battery on my mom's laptop went out. I accidentally bought Casey a souvenir cup because they asked if I wanted a large for her lemonade, and I said yes, not knowing that meant a souvenir cup. Haha. I got a little tiara thing. Not sure what you'd call it.
It turns out what my mom was talking about when we were talking about the pre-show of Deathly Hallows is the fact that she entered a contest to win a sneak-peek of the movie, which is still pretty amazing of her. It also turns out that the special offer to go to the park the Saturday after the premiere only offers one ticket, from what my mom understands. POOP.

I watched Becoming Jane last Sunday, and I started reading The Hobbit.

Today, we had Stake Conference.  It was wonderful.  I miss Emma Lucy and Abby.  Everything seems off-balance without them.

I believe that's everything.

Did you have a good weekend, reader?

Serbians and Amazing Moms

Mom: So, for the movie (The Deathly Hallows), I got the pre-show tickets in the IMAX.

Me: As in, the one that shows Half-Blood Prince and whatnot before The Deathly Hallows?  You do realize that's, like, six hours of Harry Potter, right?

Mom: Well, yeah...

[I love her.]

Who else can send a link that goes directly to the purchasing of midnight showing tickets of Harry Potter to their mother ON FACEBOOK, and say that their mom bought not just one ticket for their daughter, but another for herself?  ON A SCHOOL NIGHT?

Who else can say her mom suggested going to a renaissance fair for the weekend?

Who else is spending a Harry Potter-filled Saturday at the Wizarding World in Orlando, the day after the movie comes out, with their mother?

Who else can say that their mom likes Juno and Easy A as much as they do?

I love my mom.

Today, I woke up, gave Blue a bath, swept the cobwebs off of the ceilings all around the house, gave myself a bath, went to Panda Express (HEAVEN) for lunch, then went to my bus/school friend Zorana's house.

The funny thing about Zorana and I is that we have lived in the same neighborhood our entire lives, and never met.  We went to the same elementary school (granted, she IS a year younger than me), and never met.  It took us riding the same bus last year, my sitting next to her one day, and only having one or two other people to talk to while waiting for the bus in the morning for us to meet.  We were immediately friends.

Once we did meet, for an entire year we never hung out.  So, this year we have continually tried.  It never worked out...UNTIL TODAY.

We didn't do much.  Haha.  Her sisters love me, even though one of them can't really understand English (they're Serbian, and she is four).  Her dad thought I was funny (I think).  I did this hand signal thing that Zorana told me was a really good thing to do when meeting a Serbian person.  I still don't really understand what it means, but he told me I did a "good job."  Haha!

We watched an episode of The Office, Hot Chick, an episode of Modern Family that she and her sister wanted me to see, the beginning of Drillbit Taylor, and the beginning of the most recently made Jane Eyre (definitely the best adaptation).  We played "tennis" for a bit.  It was a really fun day, overall.  She was a bit embarrassed/annoyed of her family, which I felt bad for her feeling that way.  Her sister told me I was "funny" and "cool".  I was happy about that;D.  We ate THE biggest amount of junk food ever.  We had fried chicken and bread for dinner, then ice cream.

We watched the Modern Family episode outside, in her dad's truck's bed with a Snuggie keeping her, myself, and her older younger sister [sort of] warm.

Reader, what do you think of when someone says, "My mom is grocery shopping, so we don't have anything"?  Do you literally think of them as having nothing?  Not even margarine for the bread you're eating for dinner?  Well, that's what Zorana's family thinks.  Haha.

She said it's because there needs to be as much room in the fridge as possible for their holiday coming up.  I can't remember what it's called, but it revolves around a saint.  She invited me to come over on the Sunday that it starts, but I obviously couldn't, but I think I'm going to try for the Monday part.  I'm not going to be bowing to anything, don't worry.  Haha.  I think it'd just be different and a lot of fun.

Well, I have to do laundry and pack for this Renaissance-filled weekend, reader.  I love you!

P.S.  It is ridiculous how exhausted I am.

Healing

This past Sunday was so beautiful.  It was a Sunday of healing.

These past few months, I have dedicated myself to bearing my testimony on the pulpit every fast and testimony meeting.  This vow was broken last month because I was in Orlando for my Mom's and Uncle Wayne's birthdays.  I was sickened when I realized I wouldn't be there to bear my love of Christ with listening ears soaking in the words of my heart and soul.

When I first woke up, I was still a bit shaken and hurt.  Then, remembering my other vow to myself (listening to/reading a conference talk everyday), I got on Youtube, and went to the Mormon Messages tab in my subscriptions.  I watched Elder Richard G. Scott's talk on the blessings of eternal marriage.  It made me think of my husband and children.  The testament of temple marriage brought a fearsome wind of the Holy Ghost to my entire being.  As I was sitting in the car on the way to church, it only became stronger.  Even when one of my cousin in-laws, Christopher, (who was unexpectedly visiting our ward) walked in, I was still not afraid to stand and I knew I just had to bear my testimony.

I cried, as I always do.  They weren't tears of pain and anguish as they were just the night before.  They were tears of relief and a kind of emotion that can only be described as celestial joy.  It was such a beautiful experience that I shared with my Heavenly Father.  I stumbled and stuttered, but only because the Spirit was speaking to me in the most clear and concise way, and I wanted to interpret His words with an exactness.

I came home full.  Full of the Spirit.  Full of love that can only be from my Heavenly Father and my Savior.

I wrote in this journal my friend Casey and I are making for my friend Kristen of my experience that autumn afternoon.  It was the first time I just didn't care what she would think (she's a bit intimidating).  My heart has been so full and rich since then.  When I thought I would never be at that place I was during the summer ever again, Heavenly Father brought me back.  He brought me back to peace and strength.  I am so grateful to him for that.

Everything will be okay, reader.  Really.

Back to Basics

So here's what took place last week...in a nutshell:

I finished Roswell.  I'm on the third season of The Office.  I've been watching it all day.  My father was arrested for possession of cocaine.  He is now out of jail.  I don't know what to think of him anymore, what to do anymore, or if my efforts are even worth it.

Haylee, the lovely, is now living with her aunt.  I miss her terribly, already.

I've come to the knowledge that my supposed friend is lying to me, as is usual in her case.  I don't know what to do about it.  Another one of my friends, who is in on the lie, was visited by the sister missionaries shortly after my finding out about the little secret, which I thought was a bit ironic.  It's a great thing, but I don't think she thinks it as sacred and serious as it is.

I have the stress of the yearbook.  We had a meeting on Thursday.  I don't know how it went.  I wasn't taking it as seriously as I should have.  I just helped/talked to my friends on the staff.  I just wanted to have someone to laugh with.

I'm having stupid boy trouble like the sixteen year old that I am...

My heart is not in a warm place.  It's not exactly stable at the moment.  I've been watching too much tv drama crap to the point that I've made it relevant to my life's drama crap.

I'm sorry for those of you who have preconceived notions about my life or my family.  I'm sorry if you're disappointed in my life's imperfections, but that's just what life is...imperfect.

I have three essays to write and I want nothing more than to cry.

I hope all is well in your world, reader.

P.S.  I love my mom.  She bought those Halloween sugar cookies, Boo Berry cereal, these hilarious leggings, and some warm flannel pajama pants for me.  These were the bright things of my week.

Too Many Photos to Fathom

-jumps out of corner- SURPRISE!  I'm not sure what the surprise is....maybe the fact that I'm still alive?  Sure.

So, it's been a busy couple of weeks, and not just with school.  The end of the first nine weeks was ripping my sleep-deprived body to pieces.  I wanted nothing more than sleep, but my teachers gave me homework instead. The last week didn't really require much homework, but the stress of what my exams were capable of doing to my grades kept my thoughts alert to the fact that failure could take place.  However, I ended up with A's and B's.  -wipes sweat from brow-.

With the beginning of the second nine weeks, I got my schedule switched up.  I am now taking Pre-Calculus from the teacher I had in ninth and tenth grade, but I didn't get rid of my old teacher all together:/.  I still have her for Statistics....poop.

My mom and I went to the Riverside Market a few weeks ago.  That was really awesome (even though we got there right before it was to close).  We had THE best funnel cake of our lives; their were puppies and cute kids everywhere; and there, at the end of one of the rows of tents, were wands.  As in MAGICAL WANDS.  They were amazing!  They had this little section cut in them with a plastic covering and dice inside.  There was a pamphlet with games in it, and a symbol at the top that had the four Harry Potter house colors and an emblem that resembled the Deathly Hallows.  So, we talked to one of the people at the booth to figure out what the deal was.  She said her husband came up with this idea based on the Harry Potter series.  It's nothing Pagan, which was a relief, because I didn't want to get excited and then find out it was Satanic.  Haha.  She said they have tournaments all the time with the games in the pamphlet with kids from the age of four to eighteen.  It's been two weekends, and we haven't gone back yet, but I definitely want to.

 [Oh, and we went to Chamblin's, admired the beautifully historical downtown, and got a milkshake with evidence of how it was made.]

We had our annual Mutual Paint Tag War last Wednesday.  That was a blast.

Tonight, Caroline, Millie and Emma's little sister, got baptized.  It surprises me how fast life passes.  I can't even remember when Caroline was a baby.  I vaguely even remember when my little cousins (Dylan, Tosha, and Zara) were experiencing infancy.  At times, I still feel like the six year-old at Greenfield that just wanted to fit in, even if it meant being made fun of.  Even though Nathanael is older than me, I still feel like that girl who would always rub it in his face that I was taller than him, even if he stands over a foot taller than me today.

[This baby was THE cutest thing of my life.]

Last night was the ward's Fall Festival/Trunk or Treat/Chili Cook-off.  That was a good time.  The Young Women ran a cake walk booth.  I made strawberry cupcakes for the first time, and they were delicious (sorry if that sounds conceited, but they were freaking perfection).

My mom and I have been watching Roswell on Netflix (don't judge), and I've been watching The Office.  We're on the third season of Roswell, and I'm on the second season of The Office.  My mom actually bought the first two books of the Roswell series (okay, you can judge for that).  Yes, I'm in love with Max.  I knew Tess was evil from the beginning.  Liz got a little annoying, but I'm okay with her now.  Maria is my fave.  Alex...so sad.  I don't really have a problem/obsession with any of the others.  Haha.  I feel bad for Kyle, though, since all he has is Buddha and no love life like everyone else.  Okay, sorry for that....I'll stop.

Casey's Halloween Party was on Friday.  It was much less scandalous than the past few.  I got to see Ernesto, whom I haven't seen since ninth grade.  Even if it was a bit awkward at first, it was fun.

 Gabby also had her party that night.  I didn't go.  We had a fight.  She hadn't responded to any of my texts or messages online.  I called her once to tell her I was under too much stress to plan the party with her.  She didn't answer, but called back when I was taking a nap, and I didn't call her back because I felt bad for wanting to bail.  She finally responded to me last weekend.  It turns out she changed her party from Saturday to Friday, which meant I couldn't go because Casey had already changed her party from Saturday to Friday so that I could go to her party on Friday, then Gabby's party on Saturday.  Gabby still expected me to go to her own party, even though that would have been completely rude.  GAH!  (Sorry if that was confusing).  All is well now, though (as far as I'm concerned).  The whole thing didn't bother me as much as it bothered her, I think.  Whatevs.  I had a good weekend.

How was your Halloween weekend, reader?