Brain Hurt

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

So, my homework is somehow being done right now.  Well, not right now, but merely moments ago I assure you it was being done.  I say "somehow" being done because I am sleep-deprived.  Before Spring Break, I was on my ideal sleeping schedule.  Naps were seldom required and I got things done.  Then, that all came to a crash kaboom when I stayed up until about 1am packing for Playlist Live.

I moved a bunch of food storage to and from my grandma's car and storage unit.  So, that was a workout.  My body is probably going to hate me tomorrow, but whatevs.

I then went to the orthodonist and I think I actually had the thought of falling asleep in the chair when I was waiting for Dr. Anderson to inspect the metal-plastic devices he tells me to keep wearing to keep my teeth from going back to under-bites, cross-bites, and an uneven jaw.

My mom told me I couldn't go to sleep until 8pm.  Even though I explained to her that I had homework to do, and if I could just take a thirty minute nap, I could get through the homework awaiting my aching body, she wouldn't budge.

We then went for a walk because I no longer have gym, but health every day, which creates a problem of lack of exercise.  I just used the word "of" a lot.  My bad.

My brain hates me right now.  It's aching and pulsating with a plea of slumber, but alas, AP U.S. History, Pre-Calculus, AND FCAT Science practice calls, and I must answer if I want to get straight A's this quarter.

(Also, reading the chapter for Health, but I probably won't until the day before the test, because it's kind of obvious that procrastination is my thing.)

I'll probably read this later and wonder if someone spiked my Diet Coke that I got from Chick Fil A.

I hope your sleeping habits are in much better shape than mine.  No one deserves this agony, reader.

Youtube in my Life

Monday, April 4, 2011

So, procrastination and I have a pretty tight-knit relationship.  We never let each other down.   Hence my writing this post at 10:57pm.  I actually don't have a topic planned out.  So, this should be fun.

I recently attended Playlist Live.  At first, the level of awkwardness was nauseating as my friend, Alexis, and I approached Hayley Hoover, Jason Munday, and Mike Lombardo for a picture, but after that, it got progressively easier to talk to these people that I have admired for the passed two and a half years.  I actually had a great conversation with Hayley the next day that lasted about fifteen minutes.  I felt like it atoned for the day before's embarrassing encounter with her.

What I love about Youtube is that the people you admire are actually tangible in the sense that it's not exactly impossible for you to meet and form friendships with them.  I think that has a lot to do with the fact that these people are actually genuine and sincere.  They are open to friendships that form through internet-relations and don't think that everyone that wants to talk to them on the internet is a rapist.

The more I have gotten into Youtube, the more I've been more accepting of people, especially through the Nerdfighter community.  I think it's also helped me to seek out friends that are more accepting and understanding of me and my lifestyle.

My friend from Playlist, Ruth, posted a video today for her VEDA talking about the oddity that Youtubing is to those who are not a part of the community.  I can honestly say that I have never felt like an outcast for my involvement with the Youtube community, both when I didn't make videos and when I did.  My friends at school and church and my family have all been very supportive and kind of involved with my Youtube channel.  It's really an awesome thing, especially when I need advice on how to better my videos, when I'm coming up with new ideas, or when I want to do something that's more collaborative.  Not all of those ideas have come into play yet, but they will;).

Until about seveth grade, my friends were actually kind of harsh (with a few exceptions, of course).  They weren't generally supportive or understanding.  Why I was friends with them is beyond me.  They were honestly more bullies than friends, but that's another story for another time.  Those "friends" used to make me feel bad for being myself.  I cannot tell you how many times I would change my opinion just for the sake of "fitting in" in a school week.  Until I found the vlogbrothers and other amazingly wonderful Youtubers, I really didn't know the type of person I was anymore because I had changed to fit the protocol of those around me so many times. 

I am so grateful for Youtube.  It has helped me to accept me.

I am so grateful for those who support my Youtube endeavors (no matter how lacking they can be in quality).  They have helped me to be more open and honest.

Happy dreams, reader:).

Few Words

Sunday, April 3, 2011

So, reader.

Today was General Conference.  Today, I was moved to the point of almost-tears.  Today, my spirit was rejuvenated.  Today, I remembered my Savior's love for me.  Today, I remembered my Heavenly Father's love for me.  Today, I feel like I can take on this world with them guiding me through it.  Today was General Conference.

Melancholy Mania

Saturday, April 2, 2011

So, I'm in a bit of a melancholy mood, reader.  I mean, I'm not feeling super duper down, but I'm also not feeling particularly joyous.  Everything is kind of annoying me or getting me down and I don't feel very pretty today.  That's kind of a lame thing to say.  I'm not saying I think I'm ugly, but I think "being pretty" is more of a state of mind than a physical appearance.  I'm just not in that mindset today, and I don't really like it.  It's just some sort of funk that I'm in.  I'll get over it.

I didn't do much of anything today.  I forgot that General Conference was today, so I was a heathen and missed the Saturday sessions.  We left for my uncle's house around 4:30 and ate and visited.

For those of you who don't know, my uncle and his family are moving to Tennessee.  It's a very good thing because he's got this new, amazing job, but it's also a very sad thing because they have always lived close by.  His kids (my cousins) are all near me in age and we're all very close.  My uncle is living in Tennessee right now, and the rest of the family will be moving there when school ends.  He came to visit and help get the house ready to sell last weekend, but my mom and I didn't get the chance to go see him.  He came back again this weekend, so we had dinner with them tonight.  I'm already missing him so much.  He's such an awesome father and husband (and uncle, of course).  When I think of what I want my husband to be like, I think of the attributes that my uncle possesses, because that's just how awesome he is.

Anyways, school starts again on Monday.  That may be why I'm lacking enthusiasm right now.  It also probably has something to do with the lingering post-Playlist depression.

Sweetdreams, reader.

April Fool's Day

Friday, April 1, 2011

So, it's been way too freaking long since I've written a blog post.  I feel like I'm in some foreign land where I don't speak the native language.

Happy April, reader.  In Youtubeland, April 1st means the start of VEDA (Vlog Every Day in April).  Since I will already be vlogging everyday in April, I thought I'd do my everyday thing Maureen Johnson/Kristina Horner style...BLOGGING Every Day in April.  I might regret this by the end of the month, though.  Looking back on some of my old posts, I've come to the conclusion that what I think is the most articulate and well-explained thought now will make no sense whatsoever in the future.  So, this should be fun.

Today is also April Fool's Day.  It's also also my Aunt April's birthday.  I have always associated the date with the latter more than the former.  I don't know why.  I was always kind of annoyed with the fact that there was an actual day designated to pull pranks, which just completely dropped the sense of surprise intended.  It's also very possible that I stopped enjoying April Fool's Day after seeing that Spongebob episode where Squidward pulls that super harsh prank on Spongebob.  Funnily enough, I watched that episode today with my best friend, Gabby.  I got her the first season of Spongebob for her birthday, and I hadn't been able to get it to her until last night.  I spent the night at her house and we watched the little yellow square all night and most of this morning.

Also, I suck at pranks.  So, that's probably the definitive reason for me not liking April Fool's Day.

I missed this, reader.

Missing the Perezes Part Two

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Hernando:
hey donkey send some florida weather my way
i'm dying here
Me 8:04pm:
good
thoughts of your death are what make me happiest
lol


Hernando 8:05pm:

lol
Me 8:05pm:
what are you guys upto?
Hernando 8:05pm:
deatheaters can't truly die son son
just chilling waiting for this kid to come out
 
Me 8:06pm:
i
i'm pretty sure that's not true
Hernando 8:06pm:
so he can get things for me

Me 8:06pm:
lol
you're going to be such a great father
lol

Hernando 8:06pm:
the best
iron fist from the beginning

Me 8:06pm:
so...is it a "he"? or are you guys still just going to wait and be surprised?
haha
it should be illegal for you to father a child
Hernando 8:07pm:
ya we don't know i just say he but i really thing its a girl

Me 8:07pm:
aww
how's abby holdin' up?
 
Hernando 8:09pm:
good no more puking but now she is getting unconfortable less and less room in here belly
baby had the hipccups the other day it woke her up

Me 8:10pm:
aww poor abby
i didn't know that was even possible
Hernando 8:11pm:
yup belly just shakes lol

Me 8:12pm:
haha
that sucks
tell her i said hi?
or do you have her locked up?

Hernando 8:13pm:
she can play when her chores are done lol

Me 8:13pm:
haha
so, guess where we're going tomorrow, donkey...
Hernando 8:14pm:
if you say universal i'm going to punch you throught the computer

Me 8:14pm:
get that iron first out, then
lol

Hernando 8:15pm:
so during mardi grass concerts that they do lynard skynard is going ti be there ans its abby's and my fav
we are so mad
we are going o miss it

Me 8:15pm:
haha
what night is it?

Hernando 8:16pm:
can't remember

Me 8:16pm:
of course you can't
for a second i forgot that you're an idiot
sorry
lol

Hernando 8:16pm:
lol
i gotta go but tell our mom hi and that we miss her you not so much just some lol

Me 8:18pm:
lol
i'm not going to tell her
bye!

Hernando 8:18pm:
lol
bye
keep it gansta for me down there
Me 8:18pm:
no
lol
bye
Abby's never on facebook when I am, so I don't really get to talk to her much:'(.  I miss them like crazy.
So, yeah.  I'm going to Universal Studios/Island of Adventures tomorrow.  I'm really excited (even if it is my sixth time going over the past twelve months).  I love the Harry Potter part, but I really wish Abby and Hernando were back here to share it with my mom and I again.
Next weekend is the Highland Games.  This will be our third year going.  I'm so freaking excited.
Sorry for the lack of depth and the high level of neglect I inflict upon this blog.  I miss just writing my words down (even if they're not that great).
How have you been, reader?

Today's Dilemma

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The title of this post evokes thoughts of a possible revolution in Egypt or maybe even how many curse words are said by high school students during only the first hour of school.  I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is about you, my dear blog.

I have abandoned you for about a month or so now. Though you are inanimate, and a creation all my own, I love you, blog. We are the opposite of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster (at least, I hope).

I miss you.  You are a place where my thoughts can consume and evolve through my own sort of therapy.  You are a place where I can lay my whole heart down into words that maybe only two people will see.  My best friend doesn't even know about you, blog.  You are my own secret and my own safe-haven.  You are -- in a sense -- my home.

This is not so for my vlog.  In my vlog, I must omit and suppress emotions and feelings of my days.  In my vlog, I try not to offend or betray.  Is it really a video diary if no opinions or feelings are expressed as they would be in an actual diary?

The dilemma I face is that of sharing you with the Youtube community.  I don't even have ten subscribers (I have nine), but the level of exposure that would result from my sharing you scares me.  The level of vulnerability I feel safe to have here is on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to my Youtube channel.

What do I do, blog/reader?
 
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