After a stressful semester and the stress of finals was over, my wonderful mom flew in all the way from Florida to come see little ole me. She flew in just after I finished my last final. I frantically got everything done that I needed to get done before leaving so that when she finally got to my apartment, we could hit the road.

We have quite a few relatives in the Las Vegas area, so when my grandma said she wanted to visit them a few months back, my mom decided it would be fun to fly in to Salt Lake, drive down to me in Provo, and then take a road trip to Vegas. And thus it was.

We made it into Vegas around 11 and my mom thought that the only way for me to enter Vegas for the first time was via the Strip. So, that's what we did. While I did attempt to get a picture of the "Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas" sign, it was all in vain. We kept meaning to go back and get one, but we never did. I'm not too heartbroken over it, though.

It worked out that while we were going to be there, some of the guys my mom works with would also be there doing a trade show at Caesar's Palace. So, our first day there was spent in that labyrinth of a hotel, seeing how the other side lives and getting some free food from the other exhibitors.

The hotel itself was quite an experience. My mom's label for the whole town was "big and bodacious" and Caesar's was no exception. After the trade show was over and before we went out to dinner, we checked out the Forum Shoppes inside Caesar's to see just how crazy the crazy was. It did not disappoint.

There's nothing more enticing to me than flying mannequins. Am I right?

Post-perusing and dinner we decided to do the High Roller (a giant ferris wheel) to get the full effect of Vegas.

Supposedly, you can fit 40 people in these pods.

I did that.

The next day was of a touristy nature. Mom, the G, and I headed to Red Rock Canyon in the morning to check out this incredibly beautiful creation of our Heavenly Father's making. Mom and I did a mini hike and then we and the G drove through the canyon to see the colorful mountains that gave the canyon its name.

We found a friend along the hiking trail.

She's so pretty.

One really special thing about this trip happened the next day. Although I have been to the temple with my mom several times, I've never actually had the chance to do temple work with her. She's always been in some leadership position that caused her to have to help out whenever we had youth temple trips. So, I was really excited that morning when she told me that she decided she wanted to do baptisms with me instead of a session with my grandma.

It was so great. We were actually the only ones at the baptistry (besides one girl who only did confirmations). That meant we had to wait a little bit for them to get enough people to do the baptisms and I was a-okay with that. It was such a sweet experience sitting with my mom there and just saying our own silent prayers and talking. She means the world to me and I know it's not just because we have the same taste in movies and the same humor. It's because families have a bond that expands beyond this life. And thank goodness for that.

Even though my grandma wasn't with us in the baptistry,
I'm glad she was there in the building with us doing the Lord's work.
I definitely felt her powerful example nearby.

As we waited for the G to be done, we were able to look around the beautiful temple grounds. 

Pretty momma.

My mom had booked us a night tour of the Neon Museum for that evening. Coolest thing ever. It's this boneyard of all the old neon signs from the strip (some restored, some not). The tour guide walks you through the yard and tells you all the awesome history about the strip and the lights and all that went into making them. As a history nerd, I had a freaking blast.

Candid shot as we waited for our tour to start.

The next day was spent having lunch/dinner with family that we haven't seen in a really long time, and a few that we have never met. It was so nice to meet and catch up with this family that I haven't seen in years and to get to know those I've never met. The bond of family is so awesome and so beautiful. It was such a comfort to just be with them and to feel their love and care.

Of course we brought out the old pictures. 

While the big and extravagant of Vegas isn't really my thing, I kind of loved visiting the Bellagio as we perused the Strip the next night. It probably had something to do with the pianist at the front of the hotel playing an instrumental version of "One Day More" and the incredible garden inside and the most incredible crepe my tastebuds have ever encountered and the fountain show that reminded me of Disney World. Probably.

This garden was inside a freaking hotel.

I thought this ceiling by the concierge desk was basically the coolest thing ever. 

'Twas fate.

Just a snippet of everything loud and proud in Vegas.

They just casually had this giant chocolate fountain.

My mouth is watering just looking back at this picture. 

This was at The Crystals (another swanky hotel).

Upon our arrival in Vegas, my Great Aunt Gretchen informed us that the Grand Canyon Skywalk was only a couple of hours away. That sparked a fire in my mom's adventurous ideas, so the day after family time, we headed on over to the Grand Canyon and snuck a peak of the Hoover Dam on the way to and from there.

Just as we were about to pass the entrance to the Hoover Dam.

Before making it to the Grand Canyon West, you drive through quite a bit of desert. In that desert are about a bajillion of these funky trees that we thought were pretty cool. Turns out they're called Joshua Trees. While they were pretty awesome, we couldn't figure out exactly why Bono decided to name a U2 album after them.

Once we made it to the visitor's center, we found these guys hard at work.

I've mentioned before how much I love the mountains and how much they remind me of God's power and majesty, and that was so evident in our perusal of the Grand Canyon. I've only been once before, but I don't remember having such a moment of awe as I did on this perfectly beautiful day.

The eagle that gives this part of the canyon it's name (Eagle Point).

My pretty mommy.

Yeah, we did that.

After doing the Skywalk (it was a tad trippy), we were waiting for the bus to take us to the next stopping point. As this part of the Grand Canyon is on a Reservation, all of the workers there are Native American. They are around at every stopping point to answer any questions or just to chat and tell you hilarious jokes. While we were waiting for the bus, one of these workers started a conversation with us. We told him we were from Florida and we started talking about the Seminoles and how they are pretty wealthy because they own a ton of Hard Rock Hotels. He said he had a Seminole come to Grand Canyon West that was bragging hardcore about how much wealthier (and thus "better") the Seminoles were as a tribe. This Seminole's grandma just happened to be standing nearby when this happened and she hit his noggin real hard and explained to him that that wasn't right; she explained that those Native Americans at the Grand Canyon were the wealthy ones as they had Heaven right there before their eyes to worship and take in always. It was such a sweet reminder of the beautiful blessing this earth is.

This was at another stopping point in the canyon,
but this guy was in a group of awesomely hilarious guys from Mexico.

Our view as we ate our lunch.

While the plan was to stop and check out the Hoover Dam on the way to the Grand Canyon, it was kind of packed. So, we decided we would check it out on the way back. While everything touristy was shut down, we still got to see the dam itself. My great grandfather actually worked on the Dam back in the day, so it was incredibly humbling to see all of the work he and countless others have put into creating this incredible piece of machinery and to have that familial connection to it. It was just so awesome to see what human hands, determination, and will are capable of.

As mom had a couple of days before she had to fly back to the Sunshine State and we weren't really in a rush, we decided to make a couple of stops on the way back toward Provo. One of those stops was the St. George temple and its mini-visitor's center.

As we were staying with my family in Payson before my mom left, we decided it would be an awesome experience to go to the Payson Temple Open House. It was an incredibly humbling experience and I'm so glad we decided to do it and that there were still tickets left. One of my ward leaders was actually there volunteering and he came up to me after testifying of the eternity of families in the sealing room. That morning was such a blessing.

It was such a blessing to not just do all of these things, but to do them with my mom, my grandma, and the rest of my family. This school year was a really tough one for me and I struggled a bit more than I let on to keep a good attitude about everything. I really needed time with the people who love and care for me so much and to just have their shining light up close for a little while was exactly what I needed. I love them so much and I am so grateful for their strength and for their sense of adventure. They are always reminding me of how blessed I am by simply being what they are--amazing.

My Brother's Keeper

As human beings, there's always more for us to do. And I mean that in the best way. Sure, there's more homework, more cleaning, more priorities as life goes on. But that means there's always more knowledge at our fingertips, more of making home a heaven on earth, more chances to grow and to help others do the same.

Lately, I've been trying to find my more. I kind of hit a plateau in my spiritual growth and I have just been praying for the Lord to reveal to me what it is I need to do to help myself and my testimony continue going up the mountain that will lead back to Him. He's revealed to me little things here and there that I need to work on, but He has recently been stressing the promise I made at baptism to help "bear [others'] burdens, that they may be light (Mosiah 18:8)."

I ran across the scripture below during my scripture study yesterday morning and the Lord has not let me forget it since:

 And again Alma commanded that the people of the church should impart of their substance, every one according to that which he had; if he have more abundantly he should impart more abundantly; and of him that had but little, but little should be required; and to him that had not should be given.

And thus they should impart of their substance of their own free will and good desires towards God . . . yea, and to every needy, naked soul. - Mosiah 18:27-28

It struck me so fiercely when I read it, I had to stop for a second to take it in. Maybe it's just a simple commandment, but it's such an essential part of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I may be a poor student scrounging for money for groceries, but some people never had the opportunity to be any kind of student (poor or not) and some have nowhere to scrounge for money except the city sidewalks. I am not rich by any means, but I have been luckier than many, and I have no right to selfishness when there is something, anything I can give to another in need.

Whether it be to the poor in spirit or to the poor as pertaining to the things of the world, I know I could do better to help them.

The Lord asks us in the church to give ten percent of our income to His church; He also asks us to fast for two meals once a month and give the money we would have spent on food to the church to give to the poor and needy. It's not a large sum to give. It's small compared to all that we do have and all that we are given through such acts of faith. It's ten percent of our income (plus a little for fasting) but it's an act that requires one-hundred percent of our hearts. The gospel of Jesus Christ requires us to give one-hundred percent of our love and devotion to the Lord through our love and devotion toward those around us, toward our brothers and sisters, whether that be through tithe and fast offerings, or just in our every day lives.

Although I may not be my brother's keeper, I am my brother's brother, and "because I have been given much, I too must give." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

And so I'm going to try to give more because I have been given so, so much.

So Freaking Beautiful

My goodness today was beautiful. After what seems like forever of stressing out and hurting over so many things, today was one of those days where everything was just right with the world.

I woke up and went to an interview for a study abroad program. I got into the program. It started snowing a beautiful snow while I was in my Zumba class (snow is one of my favorite things). It continued to snow for most of the day. I got my tax return. I had the office to myself (which means a minor dance party may or may not have happened). I went to the meeting of a student journal I decided to volunteer for this semester (one of the best decisions I've ever made). Three of my friends posted links to various songs by Explosions in the Sky. This exists. I talked to my mom. I talked to my brother. I talked to my dad. I went to dinner with friends that I volunteer with for one of my school's service programs.

My heart just felt so light today. I can't really even fully explain why. It was just like the Lord made this day specifically for me and my happiness. It was so freaking beautiful.

Finding My Happy

I have not felt the greatest for quite some time.

My spirit has felt heavy with stress and I've been blindly walking in different directions that, in the moment, felt like the right ones.

It has been about a year and four months since I was supposed to report to the MTC to prepare to serve the people of the Arizona-Scottsdale Mission, but the Lord had a different path for me. Feeling the prompting to serve and preparing for my mission involved some of the most sacred experiences of my life. And the same can be said from the experience of learning from the Lord that my desire to serve was enough for Him and that my mission did not involve wearing a name tag that said "Sister Cybulski" for 18 months. I feel complete peace in that decision He made for me and I followed.

I went on with my life. I went back to school; I did the Disney College Program over the summer; I started making greater efforts to be involved with missionary work in whatever ways I could. But for the past six months or so, I've felt a heaviness. It started as every few weeks, then every few days, then every few hours, and now I worry that it will take consistent hold.

I'm still secure and at peace with not serving, but I was so set on following that direction for so long that once that road ended, I was a little flabbergasted as to which road to take next. And I still kind of am. I don't really know if that uncertainty is why my heart has been hurting so much lately, but it might be a contributing factor.

I'm not a negative person. I tend to look on the brighter side of things. I recognized some time ago that this life is a beautiful, sacred gift from a loving Heavenly Father and that fact still echoes through me every day. I know my worth because I know my Savior, Jesus Christ. And while these thoughts are not mere thoughts, but facts to me, they have been slowly dimming in fervency without my even realizing what was happening.

I haven't really talked about these things with anyone except my Heavenly Father. I tend to be a little prideful when it comes to the not so bright side of things in my life. I justify myself in not wanting to burden others and thinking that the only person whose opinion or counsel I actually need is God's. I like to work things out just between Him and me. Maybe that's not the exact way He wants me to deal with this load He is trying to help me carry, but I'm not perfect and I'm learning to let others in. And He is helping me break those walls.

I've been a little lazy in my journal writing lately (meaning for the past three months). I write entries on my phone or in an email instead of my actual journal. I've been making an effort to transcribe those digital entries into my journal for a few days now. I finished last night, and oh my goodness am I blind.

I'm blind to the hand Heavenly Father has had in my life every single day. I'm blind to the promptings He has given others to stop by my apartment just to talk. I'm blind to His kindness found in the smiles from strangers on campus. I'm so blind to His gentle, quiet efforts to make me feel loved through others.

God, who oversees the interlacings of galaxies, stars, and worlds, asks us to confess His hand in our

personal lives, too. Have we not been reassured about the fall of one sparrow and that the very hairs of our heads are numbered? God is in the details! Just as the Lord knows all of His vast creations, He also knows and loves each in any crowd—indeed, He knows and loves each and all of mankind!

 -- Elder Neal A. Maxwell

For my journal writing, I write what I have been grateful for in each day. In transcribing my entries, I've noticed that every single one is jam-packed with these small, powerful blessings that are witnesses to me of my Father in heaven's awareness of every part of my every day. Whether it's in the simple fact that I have the kindest, most genuine friends who I just happened to run into on a bad day, or that we danced my favorite routine in my Zumba class when I didn't even want to get up to go to class that day; God is in my every moment trying to make me happy. He is encouraging me, even if I'm deaf to His cheers.

I've been so absorbed in myself and my hurts that I've let go of that positive person I used to be. I have so much to be grateful for and I've been losing sight of that beautiful truth, but it is truth nonetheless. I have so many people looking out for me in both heaven and earth. The maker of galaxies cares about my worries and my heartaches just as deeply as (if not, more than) me and I'm going to try to keep that fact close to my heart. I know He is there for me, even if I'm not always there to receive His love. I know His arm is always outstretched, waiting for me to be lifted into His embrace. I know this yoke I am carrying is not mine to bear alone. I know He is trying to help me find my happy again.

Another thing to be grateful for. 

Bruce Wayne

This Christmas break has been a bit different for me. I was supposed to be heading back to Utah yesterday morning in the hopes of getting some hours in at work and just getting myself together before this next semester of crazy commences.  But things happen and plans change, and I am now in Nashville, Tennessee.

Last week, we got a call from my Aunt Cassandra informing us that my Uncle Wayne was in the hospital.  He has been suffering with attacks of severe stomach pain for about three years now, but the doctor he went to before just attributed it to an ulcer.  So, for three years my uncle has been treating and dealing with his stomach pain as if he had an ulcer.  When he went into the hospital last week the issue was with his gallbladder, and apparently the issue has always been with his gallbladder (there was no ulcer to be found when the doctors at the hospital did an endoscopy).  His gallbladder was removed, but when the doctor went in there, he found a whole slew of issues.

It was a scary week for all of us with new problems (for what seemed) every hour, but on Saturday he was finally moved from the ICU to the general medicine wing of the hospital.  I lost my Aunt Chris earlier this year, so this has probably been the worst experience with deja vu I've ever had.  My uncle and I are thick as thieves and to have lost him so much earlier than I'd planned would have been pretty heartbreaking.  He's one of my favorite guys and I am so grateful Heavenly Father has spared him a little longer.  Maybe that makes me a little selfish, but if selfishness means having my goofy uncle around to kick the mean boys in the shins, then I'm okay with that.

I am so grateful for all the prayers and thoughts that have been given on behalf of my family.  You always hear about people saying "my family has felt your prayers" which is great and beautiful, but I'm not sure I knew exactly what that meant until this week.  I have felt the warmth of heaven's embrace so close to me and my family during this trying time, and for that I will be forever grateful.

The Batman lives on, ladies and gents. And thank heaven for that.

#ldsconf

I love General Conference.

It always seems to come when I need it most.  It always comes when I am becoming weak in spirit and it never fails to restore my strength.  I anxiously await its arrival every six months and it has not disappointed me yet.

Living in Utah (i.e. Mormonland), I am fortunate enough to be close to where conference takes place.  However, I have never been able to actually go.  Until today.

My beautiful friend, Rachel, scored four tickets.  Upon my telling her I had never been, she insisted (maybe even demanded) that I go with her.

I was so excited, but I could not have imagined the experience I ended up having.

We had our packed lunches on Temple Square, took in the beauty there, and then made our way to the Conference Center.  As the First Presidency walked in, I felt the heavenly love that I need everyday -- and have desperately needed lately -- magnified.  I felt my Heavenly Father's immense care for me as His servants spoke.  I felt the weight of everything I have been carrying lately dissipate right there in that massive room.  I felt my importance as a child of a loving God.  I felt the mercy of my Savior's Atonement.

It was a beautiful experience that I will never let myself forget.

Member of the church or not, I invite you to give General Conference a chance.  You can watch it online here.  If you watch it with an open heart and mind, I promise you will feel God's love, and that is a feeling that is incomparable to anything and everything the world has to offer.

I love this gospel so much.  I don't understand how I got so lucky to have always had it in my life, but it is a blessing that everyone deserves to have in theirs.

The gospel is not weight; it is wings.  It carries us. 

                                                                   - Jean A. Stevens

The G

So, apparently it is Grandparents' Day.  I never really knew my paternal grandparents and my maternal grandfather passed away before I was born, which means I have only ever really had my incredible grandmother, Katy King, to fill the role of grandparent.  She more than succeeds at wearing such a noble title.  She will probably blush and brush off such praise, but she deserves it.

I am proud that people know me as Katy King's granddaughter.  I am grateful to be associated with such a Christlike individual, who loves and gives so much without ever wanting the spotlight.  I am grateful for her continual care for my happiness.  I am grateful for her patience and constant love.  I am grateful for her embracing all of my quirks and ridiculousness, even if she doesn't understand them all the time.  I am grateful for the beautiful woman that she is and that she inspires me to be everyday.

I love you, G.  You are incredible.