When I was three years old, my oldest cousin served his mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Mexico. I obviously don't have much recollection of him leaving, but I do remember when he came home he had an intense tan, was speaking English in a Spanish accent, and I was completely convinced he was now Mexican (because that's how my five year old mind worked). On top of noticing his change in ethnicity, I noticed a change in the way he carried himself, a change to a person confident in his faith in and testimony of Christ. I do not remember a whole lot about the boy my cousin was before he served his mission, but upon his return I have always admired the man he became and continues to become. He was really my first example as to what it was to want to serve the Lord as a missionary and what a blessing it was to do so. When he came back from his mission, I distinctly remember sitting in the car thinking about these things and how I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to serve a mission. I wanted to do all that the Lord needed me to do to help all those I could. Of course, this was all in a less refined, more toddler-minded process of thinking. I mean, I was a pretty weird kid, but I wasn't quite at that level of maturity yet.
I had always kept this determination to serve in the back of my mind, but 21 always seemed an age that was so out of reach. I went on with life as human beings do. I grew up, I had my trials of faith, I developed my own testimony; and with that development of testimony, I grew more in my desire to share the gospel as a full-time missionary. I tried to be a missionary by example in my high school where I was the only member and I tried to be a missionary to my friends and family who had fallen away from the church. I was nowhere near perfect at it, but my desire to share the joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ still burned bright.
So, when the announcement of the age change was made in October 2012, I felt such comfort and gratitude. I felt the hopes of my five year old self becoming a reality. I prayed and fasted about it for a couple of months and felt promptings back and forth about going. I attributed the "don't go" promptings to just me being afraid of my own inadequacies, so I pressed forward. I told my family and then I told the world of social media. I felt good about this. I felt like I was doing what the Lord needed me to do.
Preparing for my mission was one of the most sacred experiences of my life, and suddenly feeling the prompting that that was no longer what the Lord needed me to do was an even more sacred experience. It is unfortunate that not everyone has seen it this way, but I will be forever grateful that the Lord allowed me to go through this. He needs me where I am, and I want to strive to be worthy of that call. I know He loves me more than I could ever imagine. He cares about me. He knows my trials and He knows my faith. He knows how I hurt and what I rejoice in. He has blessed me more than I will ever be able to comprehend in mortality. I look forward and will strive to prepare for that day when I will see just how much He has blessed me and just how much He was a part of my everyday. He is always there waiting for me to reach out to Him. I know it.
I had always kept this determination to serve in the back of my mind, but 21 always seemed an age that was so out of reach. I went on with life as human beings do. I grew up, I had my trials of faith, I developed my own testimony; and with that development of testimony, I grew more in my desire to share the gospel as a full-time missionary. I tried to be a missionary by example in my high school where I was the only member and I tried to be a missionary to my friends and family who had fallen away from the church. I was nowhere near perfect at it, but my desire to share the joy of the gospel of Jesus Christ still burned bright.
So, when the announcement of the age change was made in October 2012, I felt such comfort and gratitude. I felt the hopes of my five year old self becoming a reality. I prayed and fasted about it for a couple of months and felt promptings back and forth about going. I attributed the "don't go" promptings to just me being afraid of my own inadequacies, so I pressed forward. I told my family and then I told the world of social media. I felt good about this. I felt like I was doing what the Lord needed me to do.
Preparing for my mission was one of the most sacred experiences of my life, and suddenly feeling the prompting that that was no longer what the Lord needed me to do was an even more sacred experience. It is unfortunate that not everyone has seen it this way, but I will be forever grateful that the Lord allowed me to go through this. He needs me where I am, and I want to strive to be worthy of that call. I know He loves me more than I could ever imagine. He cares about me. He knows my trials and He knows my faith. He knows how I hurt and what I rejoice in. He has blessed me more than I will ever be able to comprehend in mortality. I look forward and will strive to prepare for that day when I will see just how much He has blessed me and just how much He was a part of my everyday. He is always there waiting for me to reach out to Him. I know it.
Thats a great post. :)
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