I've been in a major writing mood as of late.  It's probably mostly because I'm procrastinating everything while simultaneously trying to spend less time doing my typical procrastinating activities (YouTube, Tumblr, etc.).  So, what better, more productive way to procrastinate than to spend time logging my life for my posterity and future self to look back on?

As I touched on yesterday, I was able to go to the temple and get some family names done for baptisms.  I feel like every time I go to the temple, I feel the Spirit more strongly than the previous time.  I don't think I've ever had such a powerful experience as I did yesterday and I will forever cherish that.  The temple is my favorite place on Earth.  I know it's no secret that I love my Disney World, but no worldly creation can compare to that beautiful, white building where eternity is evident and full of joy.

I'm currently in the process of registering for classes I'll be taking this Summer and I'm kind of stressing about it, but in a good way.  Stressing only because there are so many classes that are sparking my fancy that I have no idea how to narrow them down.  I'm so excited to experience them, though.

So many blessings have been tossed my way as of late and there's no way I can ever say "thank you" enough.  It's amazing how much my Heavenly Father and Savior love me.  I cannot even fathom how my imperfect self gets to possess that much room in their hearts.  I feel like I should be on my knees 24/7 praising Them for all that They have given me.  It's so amazing and I wish everyone knew that that kind of love exists for them and is waiting for them to seek.

New Favorite Song

HOW IS THIS NOT AN LDS HYMN!?

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Come Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
Mount of God's unchanging love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I'm come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

I was able to go to the House of the Lord today -- the temple.  Once again I was reminded of His very real presence and His very real love for me.  The General Young Women Meeting Broadcast was an even greater testament of that.  I cannot even begin to tell you how blessed I am.

Lost and Found and Other Nonsense

In regards to my last post...

I feel like deleting it for some reason.  It didn't convey my thought process in the way I wanted it to, but that is the case with most of my posts in hindsight.

By some miracle, the hotel actually did end up finding my camera and they sent it our way some time last week.  I am beyond grateful and completely astonished that it was even found, but then again, maybe that's why I wasn't in super freakout mode when I realized it had been lost?

Over these past few years, I've really tried to dissect what I get upset over. I've especially been trying to do this as of late.  I take a step back and try to see if there is some way I can change whatever is making me upset, and if I can't, then there's no use in dwelling on it.  Such was the case of the lost camera, I think.

In other news, it is currently Spring Break and I am currently deathly ill.  Okay, maybe not quite so dramatic, but I don't think there have been five minutes where I have not coughed a crushing-chest cough.  I'm trying to not let it get me down, though. I made the decision to be productive this Spring Break, and gosh darnit, NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP ME!

Okay, maybe one more YouTube video.

Pack Rat Reminiscing

The overall theme of my life this past month has been one of complete and utter love, and this weekend has held strong to that theme.

I was lucky enough to attend Time Out For Women in Orlando with my wonderful family and friends -- My cousin's wife, Heather; her sister, Bethany; my mom; and my cousin, Natalie.  Unfortunately, I lost my camera on the last day somewhere between our hotel and the convention center, but I found myself not getting as angry or upset as one would normally be.  I mean sure, there was that moment of panic, annoyance, and anger at myself, but I thought how stupid I was for feeling that way about such a materialistic thing.  Then, I realized maybe I wasn't angry because of the actual camera or the memories for myself.

For those of you who are unaware of the fact, I am a major pack rat.  I hold on to those little handouts they give with inspiring quotes during young women lessons at church.  I held on to that party hat from the birthday party I went to four years ago.  Little trinkets like that.  I have kind of slowed that madness down and thrown some stuff away in preparing for college, but the reoccurring theme in my collecting these things hasn't necessarily always been that I want to save these little things for myself, but for my children.  Yes, it's super girly and a little strange for people to understand this thought process, but here it goes...

I thrive on stories.  Not just fictional stories, but the stories I hear from family and friends.  I know that's normal, but I think it's so cool when there's visual aid involved in those stories.  I remember pulling out my mom's senior memory book from high school and seeing all these news clippings, tickets, choir concerts she participated in, and all these little awesome trinkets that added vividness and flavor to the story of my mom's senior year of high school.  So, I save these things and take a million pictures so that my children can actually see, feel, and know my journey on this earth and what a beautiful ride it has been.  I want them to understand where I came from and vicariously where they came from so that we can be connected in that and be drawn closer because of that.

So, as I've sat and contemplated my level of being upset over this camera that has pictures of memories I will forever treasure, I've had to pause and reflect on if it was even important to hold these memories in picture form for my children to see and know.  It is important, but I can retell those memories in journal form to my greatest ability.  What I think is most important, though, are the notes I took throughout the conference.  I gained greater insight as to the mother and wife I hope and pray to be.  My testimony of my divine destiny as a daughter of God was magnified and made strong.  I felt my Savior's love for me once more, with a deep and radiating warmth within my heart.  To me, that will allow me an even greater connection to my children.  Those are the things that will be carried with us after this life is long gone, and for that I am forever grateful.

A Child's Light

Each child possesses a light that should never be reprimanded and told to go hide in a dark corner. Children are meant to sing off-pitch at the top of their lungs and run through fields holding popsicles that trickle red sugar down their little hands. They are meant to remind us of the innocence that still exists in this maddeningly sick world. They are meant to be our example as to what it means to live life as it is meant to be lived -- with brightness and color. When that view is slapped from a child's hand is the most tragic of things to witness. That oppression is (to me) the center of all horror in the world. When dictatorship rises to power, the child-like light within a nation faintly flickers to the point where it is sometimes extinguished. When a person is murdered, that person's beautiful light is taken from the world forever and those around them -- family, friends -- lose a part of their own light that the murdered person lighted.

Each of us is a child of someone -- whether you believe in Heavenly Parents or earthly parents (or both).  There is a fraction of child-like light within each of us that should never be extinguished. Were it to be put out, any hope and joy in the world would be lost.

No child deserves to have that light taken from them. No young child should have to endure that kind of heartache. That's why those of us that still have the burning flame must step up and find that child's light for them.

I beg of you to take thirty minutes out of your day to watch this video. Help. Please.

Grow Up?

So, I have been openly opposed to thinking of myself as a near-adult for quite some time now.  I honestly get these random epiphanies that go a little something like: "WHAT?  I am so not in the double-digits of the age spectrum.  Am I...?"  It's not that I literally look at myself in the mirror and see the seven year old me with the awkward haircut and the purple overalls with blue stars on the chest pocket* staring back at me.  I recognize the fact that I have now gained far more knowledge than even the big imagination-possessing mini-me couldn't dream of.  I cannot even begin to describe what I am trying to say.  I think it mostly has to do with the little-me mindset of everything will be different and big and amazing when I finally become a "grown up."  While my life has been a tremendously blessed one and uniquely amazing in its own right, it has not been the one my little self thought up.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I would not trade one moment of these past seventeen years for another day of awkward fashion choices or having Tiffany Rogers introduce me to the fact that some girls really are like Kate Sanders.**  I just remember all the books I read and the tv shows and movies I watched that introduced me to the possibility of some grand future.  Sure, these were fictional futures, but they were still possibilities nonetheless.  Such grandiose living was such a foreign idea to my little bubble of a world.***  With those possibilities, my already active imagination ran wild with playing baseball with friends like those in Hey, Arnold! and somehow developing (what I thought was) the awesome sense of humor brought to me by Sister, Sister.

Rather than pondering the difficulties these characters experienced in each plotline, I only absorbed the magnificent resolution at the end -- and what I thought were the coolest wardrobes known to womankind.

As I've gotten older, part of my six year old mentality still sat in the back of my growing brain, waiting for something gloriously magnificent to happen.  She has always patiently waited for that bright and shining moment when fireworks would be set off everyday and life was one big party.  She never took that mentality away and said, "Wait a minute, I'm already leading that firework-filled life!"  Even when I started applying to colleges, she still hung back and watched.  As of late, though, with seeing how much support and love I have gained from all of these tremendous people over these past seventeen years of my existence, I think she has finally accepted the miracle and wonderment that is my life.  It may not have been like any fairytale she read or watched, but it was so much better than anything any person on Earth could write.  It has been a whirlwind of color, beautiful music, moving moments and words, love beyond comparison, and a tremendous growth that is perfectly my own.

I will always be a child at heart -- with my love of Disney, color, Harry Potter, and general goofiness.  However, it has not been until recently that I have fully embraced this journey I am about to embark on.  I have nothing to fear, reader.  I have so much support and love guiding me through this.  So many friends and family have lent so many compliments; so many have told me how much they admire me (me!?) in ways I didn't even think I was worthy of being admired.  That support system from all around me and from Above has erased that anxiously-awaiting-for-greatness me and has given me the view that greatness has already happened, and will continue to happen from here to eternity.  I'm ready, reader.  I'm ready to spread my wings and give this whole "adult" thing a chance.  It's so weird how ready I am.  I'm the last person I would think would be ready.  I'm a mommy's girl, home-body, sit-at-home-and-read-a-book-rather-than-party kind of gal, and I never thought I'd be okay with taking off into the unknown that is the "real world."****  I'm kind of freaking myself out, reader.

*OH MY GOODNESS do I miss those things!  ...Or did I have them when I was eight?

**Yes, I most definitely just used a Lizzie McGuire reference.  That was my childhood, reader.  It was also probably the reason I had such a fantastical view of my future.

***Fun fact: It wasn't until I was about ten that I actually completely comprehended the fact that there were other places and people in the world that did not operate around my own existence.

****I told my parents on multiple occasions that I would be living with them until I was 21.  Sometimes it was even 34.  No joke.