Summer Symphonies

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I wrote this on 7/28/11, but never posted it for some reason. So, here it is...













Blah blah blah I haven't written in awhile.
So, that sounded a bit snotty.

I'm currently sick and feeling nostalgic, so here goes something.

The reason for this blog post has a lot to do with my reading Kristina Horner's blog for the past hour or so as well as my lack of journal entries this summer.  Heh...cough.

This has genuinely been the greatest summer of my life.  My first summer after freshmen year was complete chaos.  I literally was not home for the entirety of the month of july and the end of june.  I had no time to breathe, and the chunk of the part where I wasn't breathing was spent with people I didn't really want to spend that time with.  I was at this summer National Youth Leadership Forum on Medicine, or some special title like that.  My group kind of got the short-end of the stick throughout the entirety of the week (or was it longer??).  The day groups visited medical schools, we ended up being assigned the one on the campus we were staying at, and we spent the entire time waiting for our main speaker to show up, which they never did, so they improvised, and we listened to these two very nice older woman as they tried to convince us that we didn't all have to become doctors, and that we should be nurses instead.  I was also one of the younger ones of my group (most of them were going to be juniors or seniors), so the older kids kind of kept to their own group, while the younger ones tried to awkwardly put our two cents into conversations.  I did, however, manage to find the only other LDS person there, and my time was a bit less painful after that, but anyways...

(Don't get me wrong, I was very grateful for the things I did learn at this forum, but with all the money that had to be paid to go, I feel like there could have been so much more.)

My summer after sophomore year was spent being completely lazy because I didn't want another exhausting summer where I didn't enjoy myself, and I ended up being grateful when school started because I was just SO BORED after girls camp and youth conference and such were done with.

This summer, though, has been tremendous.  It has been a summer where I have witnessed just how wonderful and beautiful this world and the people in it can be.  Girls Camp was an incredible experience, as mentioned in my previous post.  I realized just how lucky I am to have all of these girls that I can genuinely say are my best friends.  When I think of a best friend, something that really comes to mind is someone you can just sit and talk with about absolutely anything or absolutely nothing, and I really can't do that completely with girls (and boys) that do not believe the same things I believe, and it's just an incredible thing that I can talk to these girls about music, girly things, and the Holy Ghost and Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, all in one day.

I have realized just how amazing literature is.  I really cannot think about the experience I had at LeakyCon without having the urge to tear up.  People that are a part of the Harry Potter community are just full of their own, unique energy of love, compassion, understanding, and fearlessness.  It is an absolutely beautiful thing, and even though I've only been a part of it for a couple of years, I am so grateful to have been a part of it for even that short amount of time.

It feels like it has been the summer of endings -- Harry Potter ending, my last year of Girls Camp, friends going off to college and moving  -- but I'm grateful that I have one more wonderful time of Youth Conference and possibly EFY to attend.  I -- like many other youth who have had the chance to attend it -- have very fond memories of EFY.  EFY (Especially For Youth) is where I gained my own, real testimony of the gospel; it's where I decided and understood that I really was a daughter of God and that Jesus Christ really did die for me and really does love and understand me like my Heavenly Father loves and understands me.  After I realized this, each puzzle of my testimony started falling into my place.  I suddenly knew for a fact that Joseph Smith really did see Jesus Christ and God that morning in the grove and that he really did, through divine help and faith, translate the Book of Mormon.  Suddenly, I knew that the Bible, along with the Book of Mormon and the prophets of these Latter-Days were my guide and key back to an eternal happiness that my mortal mind cannot even begin to comprehend.


Youth Conference is something that I wish was much, much longer.  These past two years, especially, warm my heart when I think about them.  It is the friendships and the love that I feel at girls camp, along with my favorite guy friends, and all-around better hygiene.  I have been so incredibly lucky to have been a member of this church with these friends throughout our entire lives.  I am so incredibly sad that most of them will be shipping off to college this coming month, but I am so fond of and so grateful for the memories that we have shared.  I think one of the things I love most about Youth Conference overall is the fact that through every conversation and through every meaningful moment with friends, you, all at once, completely understand that no one person is the same, but we are all here for each other through our individuality.  You come to understand Heavenly Father's love for each of us in this way.  If I didn't have Emma J., I wouldn't want to be a better version of myself; if I didn't have Alexis K., I probably wouldn't be completely okay with being myself; if Heavenly Father did not bless me with all of these incredible people in my life, I would not be me.  I would be completely stuck and unable to change into greatness;  I wouldn't have the positive outlook on life that Chelsea A. has given me; I wouldn't have the desire to try harder that Brianna M. has given me; I probably wouldn't be okay with just saying what I want to say, no matter what, without Megan F.; I probably wouldn't want to be more understanding and insightful the way that Millie J. is.  This has turned into a shout-outs thing, so I'm just going to keep going with it.

Emily L.: Her all-around wonderful heart; from the way she wears her testimony, to the way she is always smiling, gives me this beautiful outlook on things that I've never had from anyone else.  She has taught me that there is nothing that I need to be ashamed of, but that I should always hold my head high.

Marissa R.: I have only recently met this wonderful girl, but she is the sweetest, most down to earth human being.  She makes me feel like it's okay to not stress out over things and just wear a smile despite anything that life throws at you.

Elizabeth J.: Her ability to just always laugh, I think, is what kind of always made me want to make others laugh and be happy.  I've grown up with her laugh, and it has always made my day brighter, and it has always made me want to make others' days brighter.

Emma Lucy P.: This girl's intellect, mixed with her smile, and her massive imagination have given me light to the fact that being the one in a corner, book tightly gripped and pressed to the face, is something to be admired and cherished, and it's also something that more people should strive for; it's something that I strive for: a brighter imagination and beautiful way of drawing others in with it.  Also, she has been one of those people that I'm going to look back and think, "Wow, was I incredibly lucky to have known her."


Jessi and Ailene (because I cannot mention one without the other): Your simple ability to bust out in song and/or dance without a care in the world as to who is watching have been a beautiful thing to witness.  You both make me want to be brave and not give a care.

Ben B., Troy L., Nate L., Brady R., Nicholas K., Joshua K., Nathanael K., Josh G., and all of my other favorite Mormon boys: They truly have given me an understanding of what it means to be a righteous priesthood holder.  They have truly made me understand how I want my future sons to be and as well as my future eternal companion.  They are also some of the best dancing partners a girl can find.

I guess this blog post has really just been a post that has looked back on the summers that I dreaded, and the summers like this one, and the people that made them so incredible.   If this summer were a soundtrack, I'd want to stinkin' play that thing until the CD wore out (YES, THE CD, NOT THE IPOD PLAYLIST).

I am incredibly lucky.

So, reader, was that enough cheese for ya?

P.S.  Know that there are many wonderful people and friends that I did not mention, but again, I love and am so grateful for each of you.  You all have given me so much and made me the person I am (along with my wonderful family, of course).  So, I thank you for that.  Heavenly Father has richly blessed my life with each of you and with every moment I have been so blessed to share with you.

Feeling

Sunday, July 10, 2011

I am feeling tonight, reader.

I am feeling the age of my heart, the age of my mind, and the age of my body collapsing and colliding into clashing contrasts.  I do not want the fear of adulthood, I do not want to relive the painful naivete of my childhood, I do not want to think beyond my years anymore.  I am stuck.

My birthday and my whole last week were wonderful.  I want to instill myself into those moments over and over again until I am sick from the happiness and the love.  I do not want to be too old to feel the vibrancy and the newness of youth.  It's ridiculous how hurt and sorrowful I am feeling for this.  It's only girls camp, but it really isn't.  It is the time of each summer for the past six years that I have categorized as my time to spiritually refresh and cleanse.  It is the time where the world is put away and I am allowed to be loud about being a daughter of God and a disciple of Jesus Christ.  It is the place where I have my made my very best friends, the friends I will visit with in the eternities.  They are the people I can express every thought and feeling to and they understand precisely what I am saying and how I am feeling.  We have helped each other grow in our testimonies, and I cannot believe that that time we have been blessed with every summer, is over.  It hurts miserably for some reason.  I have shed more than a few tears, and I never realized how much those one weeks out of these six summers have meant to me.

The gospel of Christ is a gospel of love, faith, and forgiveness.  I have girls camp to thank for helping me understand these attributes and to understand my divine potential and my divine abilities.

Tonight I am missing, reader.  I am missing the part of my summer that defines me; the part where I most openly am able to express my love for my Savior, Jesus Christ and for my Heavenly Father, His gospel, and His children.

Just a Thought

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Carrying grudges causes wrinkles, not only on our faces, but on our spirits.
 
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