I finished my mission papers at the beginning of this week and now I am stuck in that waiting game of anxiously wanting to attack the mail man and rip my call from his hands.
Since the announcement of the age change for missionaries last October, I have felt such a love from my Heavenly Father and Savior as I have continually prayed and fasted to know if the path They want for me includes an 18-month mile of a mission. Since October it was a quiet but powerful yes, but Satan kept placing doubts in my heart, making me afraid of my inadequacies. Once Christmas rolled around, I still had kept the internal struggle between the Lord and me. It must have been the Spirit of Christ in the air at that time of year that made me want to live with the conviction of the phrase Fear is the opposite of faith. As I have vocalized my decision to serve a mission, Heavenly Father has placed so many words in the mouths of those around me and in my own mind and heart that have strengthened that conviction and given greater clarity to the fact that it is not me that is going on a mission, but me as a representative of Christ. It will not be me stumbling over my words, it will be the Spirit speaking through me.
What I have really come to know and understand for myself is that Heavenly Father does not want the perfect to go out to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. He wants His imperfect children to teach His imperfect children. He wants them to develop a Christ-like love for one another, even with the flaws and weaknesses that come with mortality. He wants them to understand the power of a humble heart with a willingness and a desire to serve. He wants them to learn from their weaknesses and help those weaknesses become strengths. He wants to help their heavy hearts and heal their mortal wounds as they are lifting others and helping them to do the same. Most of all, though, He wants them to always know that He is there, always ready and wanting to help. He is always hanging on the edge of His seat, waiting for us to reach for His outstretched hand. He wants so much to guide us where we need to go to find the greatest happiness. We need only ask.
Your Father in heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him. - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Since the announcement of the age change for missionaries last October, I have felt such a love from my Heavenly Father and Savior as I have continually prayed and fasted to know if the path They want for me includes an 18-month mile of a mission. Since October it was a quiet but powerful yes, but Satan kept placing doubts in my heart, making me afraid of my inadequacies. Once Christmas rolled around, I still had kept the internal struggle between the Lord and me. It must have been the Spirit of Christ in the air at that time of year that made me want to live with the conviction of the phrase Fear is the opposite of faith. As I have vocalized my decision to serve a mission, Heavenly Father has placed so many words in the mouths of those around me and in my own mind and heart that have strengthened that conviction and given greater clarity to the fact that it is not me that is going on a mission, but me as a representative of Christ. It will not be me stumbling over my words, it will be the Spirit speaking through me.
What I have really come to know and understand for myself is that Heavenly Father does not want the perfect to go out to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ. He wants His imperfect children to teach His imperfect children. He wants them to develop a Christ-like love for one another, even with the flaws and weaknesses that come with mortality. He wants them to understand the power of a humble heart with a willingness and a desire to serve. He wants them to learn from their weaknesses and help those weaknesses become strengths. He wants to help their heavy hearts and heal their mortal wounds as they are lifting others and helping them to do the same. Most of all, though, He wants them to always know that He is there, always ready and wanting to help. He is always hanging on the edge of His seat, waiting for us to reach for His outstretched hand. He wants so much to guide us where we need to go to find the greatest happiness. We need only ask.
Your Father in heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him. - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
I love this! I'm so happy your papers are in! Thanks for sharing <3
ReplyDeleteJazmin, your are beautiful. This is so eloquent. I can tell the Spirit is guiding you. You are going to be a wonderful representative of Christ on your mission ... and throughout your life. I have loved watching you grow up. I love you and am praying for your every success.
ReplyDelete