Today, I spent the morning and most of the afternoon with friends, laughter, healing, good food, a cute baby, and a slobbery dog.
Last night was Robin's Florida viewing and funeral. It was probably the most difficult thing I've ever been through. I can't pinpoint why this pain has just been punching me, leaving me winded. Robin is safe, she's complete, and healed. She is completely happy and doing what she loves -- serving her Heavenly Father and following her Savior. I was happy to see her family accepting and happy. I know I'm going to see her again. Maybe I am yearning for that view of eternity that my Heavenly Father (and now, Robin) has or maybe I just am letting selfishness overtake me and allowing myself to wish that she was still here to help me strive to become the earthly angel that she was.
Whatever it may be, I was glad to not be alone in whatever it is I've been feeling, yesterday. I was surrounded by people who have known me and have loved me throughout my life -- whether they just entered it or they have been in it since Barnie was my favorite past time. I was greeted with a hug at every corner.
I was not alone today when Emma, Molly, Rebecca, Ruby, Momo, and I spent the afternoon picnicing on Kingsley Plantation. The plan was to go to Davis Park (in honor of Robin's last name), but the park didn't allow dogs, and we couldn't have complete happiness without our Momo. I'm not sure that there is anything else that I needed today besides those precious, perfect moments with those wonderful people I am blessed to call my friends. I somewhat wanted to just crawl into my mommy's arms today and continue to release the pain, but I think I ultimately wouldn't have made it out of bed had I let myself do that. I needed to be carried away from my thoughts, and be consumed in them all at once today, and that's what I got.
Today was a day in which my wounds were vulnerable and completely exposed, but somehow the edges were healed -- not completely, but it was an almost feeling.
Last night was Robin's Florida viewing and funeral. It was probably the most difficult thing I've ever been through. I can't pinpoint why this pain has just been punching me, leaving me winded. Robin is safe, she's complete, and healed. She is completely happy and doing what she loves -- serving her Heavenly Father and following her Savior. I was happy to see her family accepting and happy. I know I'm going to see her again. Maybe I am yearning for that view of eternity that my Heavenly Father (and now, Robin) has or maybe I just am letting selfishness overtake me and allowing myself to wish that she was still here to help me strive to become the earthly angel that she was.
Whatever it may be, I was glad to not be alone in whatever it is I've been feeling, yesterday. I was surrounded by people who have known me and have loved me throughout my life -- whether they just entered it or they have been in it since Barnie was my favorite past time. I was greeted with a hug at every corner.
I was not alone today when Emma, Molly, Rebecca, Ruby, Momo, and I spent the afternoon picnicing on Kingsley Plantation. The plan was to go to Davis Park (in honor of Robin's last name), but the park didn't allow dogs, and we couldn't have complete happiness without our Momo. I'm not sure that there is anything else that I needed today besides those precious, perfect moments with those wonderful people I am blessed to call my friends. I somewhat wanted to just crawl into my mommy's arms today and continue to release the pain, but I think I ultimately wouldn't have made it out of bed had I let myself do that. I needed to be carried away from my thoughts, and be consumed in them all at once today, and that's what I got.
Today was a day in which my wounds were vulnerable and completely exposed, but somehow the edges were healed -- not completely, but it was an almost feeling.
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