Last song heard: Nothing Better by The Postal Service
As you can probably tell by the title of this post, I took the day of from school life.
I ended up going to bed last night around 1am, and didn't fall asleep for quite a long while. My mind was racing at a million miles a second. It was full of anxiety. That's not okay to me.
During the summer and when my life is at ease, I think of happier things. I think of how I can make my future a happy one, or how inspiring certain people are to me, or the next novel I'll attempt to write, but never get the dying urge to put it on paper. I don't think of how I'm going to pass a certain class. I don't think of numbers and equations before I go to sleep. I usually think of the beautiful things in my life and my life to come. I think of what my husband may be doing right now, or if my kids will have the red hair that I want them to have. They ease me into a peaceful slumber and make my morning brighter somehow.
What little sleep I did get brought on dreams just as filled with anxiety as my conscious mind. I ended up waking up what felt like an hour or so after I finally fell asleep, because I couldn't handle the current nightmare, after waking up that time, I finally got back to sleep for a short time. My alarm went off at 4:30 with the intention of waking me to bathe. I ignored it and waited for my second alarm to go off at 5:15.
During my tossing and turning, I decided I wasn't going to school, but, of course, my conscience kept eating at me for continuing to ignore its urges to get up and go to Seminary, and it won in the end. I took a quick shower and went. I probably looked a little scary.
I came home and slept...until 3pm. Apparently, my mom came home for lunch, and came in my room to rouse me, but to no avail. I have no recollection of it. I kind of remember my grandma checking on me once, and I thought that was an hour or so before I got out of bed, but it was apparently before my mom came home for lunch. Weird. It was a really good sleep, though. It definitely made up for the stupid night before.
I went to Mutual tonight, and we just talked about service projects. We're going to be doing luminaries this year, which we haven't done in about two years. Well, I've never done it, but there are a few of the young women that have done it each time the guy in charge of the whole thing has asked for our help. Things just came up around those times, or I was sick, etc., but I'm kind of excited about doing it this year. They've always said it's a lot of fun.
I WANT TO BE HEALTHIER. School, I think, is my downfall when it comes down to that. I made the mental commitment to go for a walk at the times I get stressed out, instead of eating whatever junk we have in the pantry. So far, I've only gone walking once, and I'm pretty sure I've gained a few pounds after gaining the privilege at school to go off-campus to McDonalds for lunch. eogyjwoegyo
Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with the way I look, but I just always have the parts of the Word of Wisdom in the back of my mind that have to do with eating and exercising, and we had a lesson on those things on Sunday in Young Women...meh.
Tell me what to do, reader.
As you can probably tell by the title of this post, I took the day of from school life.
I ended up going to bed last night around 1am, and didn't fall asleep for quite a long while. My mind was racing at a million miles a second. It was full of anxiety. That's not okay to me.
During the summer and when my life is at ease, I think of happier things. I think of how I can make my future a happy one, or how inspiring certain people are to me, or the next novel I'll attempt to write, but never get the dying urge to put it on paper. I don't think of how I'm going to pass a certain class. I don't think of numbers and equations before I go to sleep. I usually think of the beautiful things in my life and my life to come. I think of what my husband may be doing right now, or if my kids will have the red hair that I want them to have. They ease me into a peaceful slumber and make my morning brighter somehow.
What little sleep I did get brought on dreams just as filled with anxiety as my conscious mind. I ended up waking up what felt like an hour or so after I finally fell asleep, because I couldn't handle the current nightmare, after waking up that time, I finally got back to sleep for a short time. My alarm went off at 4:30 with the intention of waking me to bathe. I ignored it and waited for my second alarm to go off at 5:15.
During my tossing and turning, I decided I wasn't going to school, but, of course, my conscience kept eating at me for continuing to ignore its urges to get up and go to Seminary, and it won in the end. I took a quick shower and went. I probably looked a little scary.
I came home and slept...until 3pm. Apparently, my mom came home for lunch, and came in my room to rouse me, but to no avail. I have no recollection of it. I kind of remember my grandma checking on me once, and I thought that was an hour or so before I got out of bed, but it was apparently before my mom came home for lunch. Weird. It was a really good sleep, though. It definitely made up for the stupid night before.
I went to Mutual tonight, and we just talked about service projects. We're going to be doing luminaries this year, which we haven't done in about two years. Well, I've never done it, but there are a few of the young women that have done it each time the guy in charge of the whole thing has asked for our help. Things just came up around those times, or I was sick, etc., but I'm kind of excited about doing it this year. They've always said it's a lot of fun.
I WANT TO BE HEALTHIER. School, I think, is my downfall when it comes down to that. I made the mental commitment to go for a walk at the times I get stressed out, instead of eating whatever junk we have in the pantry. So far, I've only gone walking once, and I'm pretty sure I've gained a few pounds after gaining the privilege at school to go off-campus to McDonalds for lunch. eogyjwoegyo
Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with the way I look, but I just always have the parts of the Word of Wisdom in the back of my mind that have to do with eating and exercising, and we had a lesson on those things on Sunday in Young Women...meh.
Tell me what to do, reader.
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