I went to sleep at 5am last night. Record-breaker for this summer. I woke up a few times this morning, sort of. It was one of those half awake/half asleep ordeals. My body, not I, decided it would be a good idea to just sleep for another hour or so, which, of course, meant until 1:30pm to my somewhat subconscious mind.
I wanted to wake up at 10am, but somehow didn't hear my alarm. I wanted to get my laundry going, clean my room, and be packed before leaving for Young Women tonight. That didn't exactly happen.
I did little more than play Bejewled Blitz on Facebook and peel potatoes for my grandma.
It was a rather lazy day.
Tonight, in our Young Women's activity, we were going to use props and make a skit about stories from the Book of Mormon. The leaders had a meeting in the side room, and we just closed the door, and sat in a circle and talked (I know, girly, right?) It was really nice. Elizabeth even stayed in the room. She usually goes off and plays with the girls that are half her age. I really wish she was more open to us who are her actual age, which she seems to be trying...somewhat.
This summer has really been a time where I have become so much closer to these girls. They've become some of my closest friends. It's really what I've always wanted, but was always afraid of. I was afraid of being judged by them and not being able to be myself, but I'm more myself around them than most others. I somehow always relate things back to my dead-beat of a father and the immoral example that is my brother when I talk to them, and I have no idea why. I'm not like that with any other group of friends. I don't like it, though. I mean, I like that I can be utterly open, but I hate complaining about what life has thrown at me, because I'm all the more better because of those obstacles.
These past few summers, I've felt like I've gained such lifelong friends. They're just so...I don't even know. They're the sort of people I always want to be around. They are just so freaking amazing. They're such a light in my life. I can't even keep track of how many times I have chosen to do things with them, rather than any other friends. It's not that I don't love my other friends, but it's just so much easier being me around these girls, and even the Young Men. Youth Conference was such a blessing, because of the friendships that have been strengthened from it and the testimony of mine that has grown immensely.
My entire life I have always been so afraid to not be accepted. I've always conformed to the situation of friends that I am around, and these past three years have taught me that that's not okay. It's not okay that my thoughts change from person to person just because I want to have friends. Those aren't friends. That's me living a lie to make others happy. It took me about fourteen years of my life to realize it, but I'm glad I did. I'm so happy right now. I'm so grateful. I love this world that my Savior and Heavenly Father have blessed me with. Every inch. Good and bad.
What are you grateful for, reader?
I wanted to wake up at 10am, but somehow didn't hear my alarm. I wanted to get my laundry going, clean my room, and be packed before leaving for Young Women tonight. That didn't exactly happen.
I did little more than play Bejewled Blitz on Facebook and peel potatoes for my grandma.
It was a rather lazy day.
Tonight, in our Young Women's activity, we were going to use props and make a skit about stories from the Book of Mormon. The leaders had a meeting in the side room, and we just closed the door, and sat in a circle and talked (I know, girly, right?) It was really nice. Elizabeth even stayed in the room. She usually goes off and plays with the girls that are half her age. I really wish she was more open to us who are her actual age, which she seems to be trying...somewhat.
This summer has really been a time where I have become so much closer to these girls. They've become some of my closest friends. It's really what I've always wanted, but was always afraid of. I was afraid of being judged by them and not being able to be myself, but I'm more myself around them than most others. I somehow always relate things back to my dead-beat of a father and the immoral example that is my brother when I talk to them, and I have no idea why. I'm not like that with any other group of friends. I don't like it, though. I mean, I like that I can be utterly open, but I hate complaining about what life has thrown at me, because I'm all the more better because of those obstacles.
These past few summers, I've felt like I've gained such lifelong friends. They're just so...I don't even know. They're the sort of people I always want to be around. They are just so freaking amazing. They're such a light in my life. I can't even keep track of how many times I have chosen to do things with them, rather than any other friends. It's not that I don't love my other friends, but it's just so much easier being me around these girls, and even the Young Men. Youth Conference was such a blessing, because of the friendships that have been strengthened from it and the testimony of mine that has grown immensely.
My entire life I have always been so afraid to not be accepted. I've always conformed to the situation of friends that I am around, and these past three years have taught me that that's not okay. It's not okay that my thoughts change from person to person just because I want to have friends. Those aren't friends. That's me living a lie to make others happy. It took me about fourteen years of my life to realize it, but I'm glad I did. I'm so happy right now. I'm so grateful. I love this world that my Savior and Heavenly Father have blessed me with. Every inch. Good and bad.
What are you grateful for, reader?
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